Hanging On or Letting Go

So I am going to take a break on the Kyler updates for just a moment. The next week will talk about the week that my Grandpa Van Dyke passed away, and I wanted to tell a great story and a few things that were on my mind. Grandpa had been sick for a while, but he always asked about us and loved his family very much. He had a big family of five kids (plus in-laws), 15 grandchildren, and 15 great grandchildren. Ryan and I are the only ones who do not live in town, but every time we are in west Michigan, we try to make sure we stop by to see him. Lately with the pregnancy, we had not been out to west Michigan to see family there since the middle of September--almost 3 months--but Grandpa asked about us every time he saw my parents.

When we were packing up to visit after Christmas (December 29-January 2), I called my mom the night before to ask her about extra sheets for the crib. My mom told me that we were going to go straight to the nursing home after she got out of work because Grandpa had been asking every day when we were going to be there so he could meet his great grandson Kyler. He had been talking about him for the last week to anyone who would listen, including the nursing staff. Everyone knew he wanted to meet his great grandson. He had been getting really frail and losing a lot of weight, so my mom told me that she believed he was holding on just to meet our son. I was--and am currently--tearing up at the thought of it. How loved Kyler and us were--that Grandpa was using his strength to see us when he could have used it for so many other things.

Going to bed that night I prayed so hard that nothing would happen to him overnight and that we would be there in time for him to meet Kyler. When we got to west Michigan and went to visit him, there were a lot of family already there because they too had heard now much meeting Kyler was on Grandpa's mind. He was having a hard time staying awake, but eventually he did wake up enough to have him in his lap and see his great grandson! We have several precious pictures of that meeting and will cherish it always. He gave us such a special gift in letting us know before he passed away how important our son was to him--how important we all were to him.

Great Grandma and Grandpa Van Dyke holding Kyler

In life, there are things that are important to hold onto. To my Grandpa Van Dyke, family and God were what he held onto. He held onto life to see his newest family member before letting go to be with his heavenly father just 10 days later. He always held onto his faith, listening to the Bible on CDs long after he could no longer read the actual book. He held onto his family, always giving us a hug if he had the strength or holding us with his gaze to let us know he wanted to see and hear us. He held onto us, his family, as a priority when his grip was getting weaker and few other things could be held onto.

We often try to hold onto things that are not nearly as important as family and faith. We hold onto grudges, anger, unreal expectations, and hate. We hold onto possessions and worldly things that will not matter in the end. God created us with only two hands and only so much strength. When we hold onto some things, that means we have to let go of others. We only have so much strength. Grandpa holding on to meet Kyler makes me think about the things in my life that I might not be holding as closely as I should because I am trying to hold onto too much of this world. I can only hope that one day, Kyler will know that his mom held onto two things like his Great Grandpa did--faith and family.